Recipe Reimaginer T-Shirts

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

Eye of Newt Helper

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

Five seconds before the first turducken.

'Wind in the Willies' - 'It's an Andrew Davies version of the old classic.'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

'Someone added chocolate chips to all my recipe files. Do you know anything about that?'

"Come on, let me see the picture."

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

"Peanut butter and jelly...simple...delicious... why didn't I think of that?"

Alice in Badassland

Under New Management.

Wolf in bed.

Some things Alice did in wonderland have been glossed over.

'Instead of 'shortening', shouldn't that oil be called 'fattening'?'

"Another Bermudez family specialty is born!"

'I can't talk now. I'm live blogging Harry's reaction to my Chicory Glazed Venison Loin.'

"Aha! I found the bug! The company that makes this herbalized soda has been stealing my recipes!"

Nobility Scooter

"I haven't change my New Year's resolutions, just the year I'll do them."

Rapunzel Experiments With Gender Presentation

'I don't mind reversing roles...it's just that I'm getting bored with all the usual ways of doing chicken.'