Recipe Disaster Lover Gifts

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

How to watch television wo getting spaghetti sauce, , ,

"Huh? What patch didn't take?"

Watson's Hardware: We Repair What Your Husband Fixed.

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"