Recipe Defenders Gifts

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Blog Breakdown

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

"It's Brooklyn clam chowder - you got a problem with that?"

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"Sorry Matilda, but we're going to have to let you go...on the bright side, I hear they're hiring over at Chik-Fi

"Peanut butter and jelly...simple...delicious... why didn't I think of that?"

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

Ginger Breadman

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

'If you're asking me, I'd recommend the perfect peppered steak from the resturant next door!'

"Here's a dish I used to cook for my late husband. If you want to try it just follow the recipe, but ignore the part where it mentions a pinch of arsenic."