Recession Resistor Gifts

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'You're very lucky to get an allotment, of course. Mine here's been a godsend since the downturn.'

Hate Platforms

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Court's in recess!'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Playground Pipe Dreams

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

I miss recess!

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'Thank God, no tasers in my day!'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"Wanna be my default best friend?"

Bell ringer.

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

'He wants a system with lots of memory,but without a mouse.'

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

"Damn change and newfangled ideas...if mindless back breaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for ME!"

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

'I dread Labor Day. That's the holiday before school starts.'

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

'Those are the rules, Mr. Payne. You can be a conscientious objector to war, but not to taxes!'

"They taxed my tax refund."

Trying to Prevent the Downturn.

'If you just keep harping on the *#@!! results, you'll never be able to see what a perfectly sound economic theory it was.'

The trouble with the speed of light is it gets here too early in the morning.

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.

Weight Loss Clinic. Dieting is just a matter of following the path of feast resistance.