Recession Decorator T-Shirts

'... So what does a half a tree cost?'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Yoga classes door.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Happy Turkey Day!

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'The roof needs icing.'

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Stuffing the turkey.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I wanted a change in decor.'