Merry Decorator T-Shirts

'What can I use to get this paint off my shirt?'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

Shelter Cat Nap

"I love these old decorations!"

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Still Life With Nordic Track

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Pinata Trophies

Yard Sale

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

'The roof needs icing.'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Mice Cream

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

Frankenstein's Reading Light

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Jackson Pollock the Spider

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

If you can read this, you're standing too close.