Recently Started Dating Pillows

'So -- how did your date go? 'Lousy! -- She tried to impose her moral standards on me!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Romance

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

So Close..

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Cow in love'

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Powerful Love.

"Call me?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?