Receiving A Sports Scholarship Gifts

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

Pinara fund

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

'Ring around the rosey ...'

Student Debt

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"That's for our son. . . the one with a basketball scholarship!"

Roads Scholar

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."