Receiving A Home Brewing Kit T-Shirts

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

You've Had Enough!

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

My dad makes his own beer.

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'I should never have let you pick the taps!'

'I brew it myself.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

"We grind our own catnip."

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."