Reassuring Wordsmith T-Shirts

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Shakespeare Ave

A Poet

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

You trip on it, you buy it.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Tom Stoppard

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Male On Sunday

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bagel problems.

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Bell Hop

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

Art Gecko.

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."