Charming Wordsmith T-Shirts

'Your intoxication beauty has made me forget my problems, my inhibitions, my wallet. Would you mind paying for the check?'

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

I think you're ace

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

A Poet

You trip on it, you buy it.

Shakespeare Ave

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.