Reality Tv Rebel Pillows

"Wish we could vote for which ex-Big Brother contestant we's most like to leave the TV schedules...."

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I gotta be me!"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I really got used to working from home."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."