Reality Tv Rebel T-Shirts

"Wish we could vote for which ex-Big Brother contestant we's most like to leave the TV schedules...."

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"I gotta be me!"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Lockdown casserole

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I really got used to working from home."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'