Reality Tv Judge Gifts

American Idol judges

'You've got 2 left feet'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Piers Morgan.

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

TV-Mirror.

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

The changing times of 'fame'.

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, unless it's a really sensational lie that will boost our ratings?

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

Simon Cowell

Distancing with the Stars

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

Man watching television show, 'Are You Lower Than The Lowest Common Denominator'?

Celebrity Shark Attack.

Live water cooler.

JWoww becomes fascinated with psychedelic therapy after reading 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan.

'I can't eat it! It's too horrible!' 'It's not I'm a Celebrity...Mum's dished up some wonky carrots.'

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

"...till death – or your first reality show – do you part."

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.