Reality Scholar Gifts

University of Hard Knocks

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

Complexity Made Simple.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, unless it's a really sensational lie that will boost our ratings?

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

Simon Cowell

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

Man watching television show, 'Are You Lower Than The Lowest Common Denominator'?

'Don't give up the day job...'

'I can't eat it! It's too horrible!' 'It's not I'm a Celebrity...Mum's dished up some wonky carrots.'

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

'The following program isn't really recommended for anybody, but hey — ratings are ratings!'