Reality Scholar Gifts

University of Hard Knocks

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

Complexity Made Simple.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Man watching television show, 'Are You Lower Than The Lowest Common Denominator'?

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

The back of the Taj Mahal.

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

'The following program isn't really recommended for anybody, but hey — ratings are ratings!'