Reality Check Lover T-Shirts

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"We don't talk anymore."

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

TV and cleaner

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

How did people work before computers? They grew food, made clothing and built stuff. Now all that is done outside the country. Not true. What about

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

'Don't give up the day job...'