Reality Check Audience Gifts

'Nice try, dear. . . I can see right through you.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Police film evidence

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

A couple decides what to watch.

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

'Don't give up the day job...'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

"My orgasm was fake."

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'