Real Talk Enthusiast Pillows

Felix decides right then to stop sugar-coating his words.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

Jerry Springer

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

the Morning Joe team.

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

Orca Winfrey interviews Meghan Mackerel.

The Great Larrynx

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

Shirker ant.

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's Inauguration. Specifically, we'll talk about how most of the big starts asked to perform for him refused to do it. We'll also be talking about how yours truly won the blue ribbon at the 1928 Jr. Miss Flapper competition at the "And How!" speakeasy for my rendition of "Bug-Eyed Betty is the Bees Knees." Trump called me, but I refused to perform too. But I gave him the third runner-up's contact info. Trump, Bessie Ma

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'I don't trust the government... what if we ask Oprah to bail us out instead?'

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

"Got it!"

'The Supreme Court today upheld a lower court ruling, only to have it overturned by Oprah!'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."