Real Life Chronicler Pillows

'It's my suicide note. Chapter 147.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Wedding Selfie

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

Trump Campaign Funding

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

Trickle down...

"Although my client was well aware of the falling crime rate, Your Honor, he chose not to be trendy."

Shireen Abu Akleh

"I think it's a bit late in the evening, Harold, to tell them about your watershed experience."

'How much longer will you be working on your autobiography, Shelly?'

"Minutes from now when you tweet about this - and you will - be kind."

'I lost my virginity and my identity on the same night.'

Journalists killed in Ukraine

'I didn't get re-elected, but I won an Emmy for my campaign promises!'

My Biography - Modern Memorial

"And guess who this handsome gentleman is? Come on! Take a guess!"

"Mind if I journal?"

"Take no notice, it's only Harold being sarcastic again."

'You've got that silly blank look again George or someone really has stolen your identity this time!'