Real Estate Follower Gifts

"Food prices up, gas prices about to soar - stocks down - house value down - what's next?"

'Did I mention, that the last owner kept snakes?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Emigrating to France.

Shares Nosedive

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams

Home Foreclosed Home.

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

The builder had said there would be some settling after the house was finished, so really the home owners shouldn't complain.

"Real estate values soar, cute boutiques proliferate, fine cuisine abounds. These are exciting times to live in Hoboken."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'Home equity loan for a pyramid.'

"Well Darling, there you go, our own bit of swamp: A perfect place to raise a family..."