Real Estate Watcher Gifts

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

"The cost of housing just went up again."

Primordial Waterfront Properties for Sale Now!

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

The successful rubbernecker...

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"We just need more wiggle room."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

Then the housing bubble burst and we lost our funding. Stonehenge Estates. A gated community.

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

"We've townsized."

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

"Homeowner please help."

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Estate Agents.

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

'Property ownership is SO nineties! Gerald and I sold our house to a private consortia and are leasing back.'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'I can't afford to move, so I'm having an extension done.'

"Food prices up, gas prices about to soar - stocks down - house value down - what's next?"

'How are house sales going? I'm phoning down for the latest figures.'

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'