Real Estate Broker T-Shirts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'We don't get many clients asking to view rat infested properties.'

Igloo sales

Mouse real estate!

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

"When I told you to acquire waterfront property, nobody believed in global warming!"

"Well, it was worth a try."

"When you write the listing, don't forget to mention the house is currently vacant."

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'We're planning on having everything, so we'll need a place to put it.'

Unreal Estate.

"I did 'stop and smell the flowers' once. Then I bought them, cut them down, and put up condos."

Don't get me started on real estate

F&E Real Estate. House for Sale. Uh-oh, I just learned the house we're selling is located on a nuclear waste site! Great! We can say it's a "hot property"!

"Hey! I'm a real estate broker!"

"We emphasize personal service. Our broker-client ratio is three to one."

"My stockbroker, my real estate broker and my power broker … all losers!"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?