Realtors T-Shirts

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'According to my owner, buying this home was cheaper than building me one.'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"This is an ideal property for the first time mug...Er...I mean buyer."

Estate Agent Aftershave.

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'Ideal for children - the play area is only a stone's throw away...'

'And, as advertised, beautiful sea-views...'

The Movers Strip - Use of mirrors in selling a property

"I hadn't realised things were quite that bad..."

Within your budget central London MIGHT be a problem. What about central Ulan Bator?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"