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"You can't call it a work station unless you actually do some work."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

No Baseball

Novak Djokovic

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

The Other Cooperstown

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Centaur Forward

'...I don't like your chances!'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

Football Crazy strip six

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Olympic Climate