Reading Comics Pillows

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

'Doctor, I'm having a little difficulty with the cheek swab.'

The end is near. Are we nearly there yet?

Narcissist Cards

He's obviously depressed,let's label him and see if several years of unemployment and poor relationships helps his condition.

"I see...and any ideas other than Supreme Leader of the Universe?"

'The monitors all show that you're dead... but to be sure, we'll need to run some more tests.'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

I don't care if your combined age is around 50...I'm not selling you alcohol.'

Since cutting their market research budget management had to find alternative ways of planning their marketing strategy.

'how dare you make fun of Alvin's face? We don't judge people by their appearance...We judge them by how much money they have.'

"I've got your letter in front of me now."

'Dying doesn't scare me - it's you people.'

'Your performance rating is terrible, Fenwick, but I like your looks.'

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'We're a bit tight on space.'

"I believe they're a debt collection agency."

"The tests show you have an overactive grumpy gene."

'Great cabin Leroy, the rug really ties it all in.'

"Your sister got another promotion."

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

Satanic man with 'Know Fear' t-shirt

'That sort of thing just makes me procrastinate.'

"Nobody wants to hang out with Bedbug Man."

Take One

Quality Control

"Do you have any references?"

'Product recall'

"...You are now insured against...any attempt by me to sell you anymore insurance"

'Please try to be more tactful with your co-workers...' 'Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic...'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

She left Friday. He noticed Tuesday, when all the clean towels ran out.

'Here are Mister Fernbush's new dentures...his mouth is a bit large, so try not to stare!'