Comic Reader Pillows

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Non-relaxation CD's for narcoleptics.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Collateral? Sure, I've got collateral. How about a boatload of misery, a house of pain and a suitcase full 'o the blues?'

The End is Nighish

'Working for me is like being married. Whatever you do, it'll never be good enough.'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'Doctor told me to take plenty of iron,'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent teacher night. She wanted to ask you why I never take an interest in anything."

Vasectomy Clinic Waiting Room

'I know that you have changed Irene, but I still think we can work things out.'

"You don't look like a Dave."

"Here's the artist's conception of your proposed smile."

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

"Granted it's not much of a superpower. But the flies seem to like it."

Fish snorkling above water.

'I'm Bored'

Prize winning pig and farmer

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I thought everyone knew William Tell's middle name -- its 'Don'tAskDon't''

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"I said New York Times...not Doggy Times!"

'Showoff!'

Martha Stewart is subjected to a body cavity search.

"I know this is a bad habit."

"I don't care what it says on the 'Chocoholics' website..."

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

W"ell yes. I do use a sunbed! Why do you ask?"

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'Turn yourself in? Look lady, confess all you want - there is no law against eating peanuts.'

'See? It covers glaciers, frostbite, and windchill. But it doesn't say anything about whether the Abominable Snowman and Frosty the Snowman are cousins.'

wattle covers