Reading Business Books T-Shirts

"My greatest asset is my ability to tell you exactly what you want to hear."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

Worked Well In Groups...

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

Primordial Schmooze

New must reading for the rising executive: '7 Habits of Highly Obsequious People.'

Who's In Charge Here?

'And to think I was worried it'd be lonely at the top!'

Sign: Globo Corporation: A company on a journey to find its authentic self, guided by the traditional disciplines of Western Capitalism.

We're changing from 'tried and true' to 'fly by the seat of our pants'. So, I'm afraid you're out, Tom !

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'I miss the 90s. The good old days of hostile takeovers.'

'Fortunately I'm a big guy.'

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."