Reading Business Books T-Shirts

"My greatest asset is my ability to tell you exactly what you want to hear."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

The little engine that could delegate.

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Worked Well In Groups...

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

Business man reading 'Thinking Outside the Chair'

New must reading for the rising executive: '7 Habits of Highly Obsequious People.'

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

Primordial Schmooze

Who's In Charge Here?

Sign: Globo Corporation: A company on a journey to find its authentic self, guided by the traditional disciplines of Western Capitalism.

"Wow! Boss! I thought she was a silent partner."

'Fortunately I'm a big guy.'

We're changing from 'tried and true' to 'fly by the seat of our pants'. So, I'm afraid you're out, Tom !

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

'I miss the 90s. The good old days of hostile takeovers.'

'I propose a cooling off period of 100 years?'

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'