Reading Athlete Gifts

'I could have gone to college on an athletic scholarship, but they found out I could read.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Occu-Pie Mars

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Good game."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker