Reading About Tech News Pillows

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

Government and Opposition

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"What's that you're reading?"

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

HUAWEI 5G

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

These remarks are completely off the record

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Computer scared of user

Election Cancelling Headphones

'Reed oil aboot tit!'

'It's called the iBarrow. It's a wheelbarrow to carry all your chargers around.'

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"Caution, it's April Fools Day. . . Some comedian may or may not have put a true story in between the fake news!"

Bin Laden