Reading About Tech News Prints

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Data From a Truck

"What's that you're reading?"

Government and Opposition

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

HUAWEI 5G

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

Spying Smart TV

Under What Circumstances Would You Change Your Mind?

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

The following story is based on actual events.

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

'Reed oil aboot tit!'

'It's called the iBarrow. It's a wheelbarrow to carry all your chargers around.'

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Computer scared of user

Election Cancelling Headphones

These remarks are completely off the record

"By using the accelerated graphics port with the m202 riser we can implement a data trawl without the 8ot network blah,blah cascading through the network..."

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"Caution, it's April Fools Day. . . Some comedian may or may not have put a true story in between the fake news!"