Reader With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Sock Puppet in Literature

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

Apricots

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

Man's Logic/Woman's Logic

The Farmer Sutra.

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Book

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Watch out for number one.

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."