Reader With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Sock Puppet in Literature

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Apricots

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Trivia/Great Literature.

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

Mister Oedipus.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

The Farmer Sutra.

Man's Logic/Woman's Logic

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

Book

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Watch out for number one.