Re-upholsterer T-Shirts

"You'll have to decide - become either an upholsterer or a re-upholsterer."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

The Move.

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

The Upholstery Consultant

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

"I made it from a lost space probe."

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Decorators at Home

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Man looking in mirror and says 'help'.

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

Non Drip Paint

'Wind in the Willies' - 'It's an Andrew Davies version of the old classic.'

"...this is the one I like."

Man to patient on couch: 'I'd like to help, but I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an upholsterer.'

Her Flag project near completion, Betsy Ross ponders a patriotic way to represent the colonies when inspiration suddenly strikes her.

A second life for Grandma's quilt.

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

All Washed Up