Raw Bar Explorer Gifts

Oyster Bar.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'No ice.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Watching the football.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"He's So Your Type."

"So, do you come here often?"

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."

Wine of the Day Club

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'Another martini please.'

Obese beer drinkers.

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"Olive, twist, or vole?"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"