Raw Bar Explorer Gifts

Oyster Bar.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'No ice.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Watching the football.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"So, do you come here often?"

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Wine of the Day Club

"He's So Your Type."

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'I decided to close the stand and sell the lemonade on eBay.'

Obese beer drinkers.

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

'Another martini please.'

"Olive, twist, or vole?"

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

'Muriel and I were like two ships passing in the night -- I was boarded, plundered, and scuttled!'