Rationalizing Artist T-Shirts

"I've found an effective excuse isn't just about a single isolated incident. It should be in the context of an entire world view."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Lord Byron

High School Schedule

"Maybe I'm not the best choice to ask if your silly wife cartoons are funny!"

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

"Notice how the artist uses light to draw in the viewer."

"If I were writing fulltime, I'd have three unpublished novels by now."

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'What the hell is this the age of?'

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

Steam of Consciousness

"Why are we here?"

"Now who's being judgy?"

'I like it.'

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

"It's too academic."

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."