Rating Aficionados T-Shirts

"Flo, this is roger, an insurance man with a credibility rating of 32. Roger, Flo is a journalist, with a rating of 74."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

Tongue in the ear...

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

Al, have you ever seen the movie "Harvey"? That rabbit was imaginary, but you must believe me: my wolverine is real!

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"Sinead?!"

Janet Leigh

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

Four Star Meal

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

Sergeant Stripes

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

Shear Love.

'It's big and it's yellow.'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.