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'I don't suppose that you see many Bernese Mountain Dogs in this country...

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

Dog Calenders.

"He's a Crocodoodle."

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

'Yes, we're trying to re-introduce some of the more traditional breeds.'

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

The very rare and elusive, Rocky Mountain Big Horned Cow.

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

Cooked rare.

"Come on now. One of you guys know how to be a SETTER."

'The increasing popularity of the Saint Bernard...'

Fauna Hybrids

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

'He's a mixed breed.'

'Sure, Lassie made us Border Collies popular, but the drawback is that people expect us to save them or run for help all the time...'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"Boxer Shorts"

'I can't play with you today. I have to show my owner how to change the oil in his BMW. It's a curse being a smart breed.'

'Trouble is he's not a dalmatian.'

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

"It's a relatively new breed. He's a West Coast Trend Setter!"

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

'A mixed Poodle? Really, Doctor!...

Before you ask...he's a neopolitan mastiff.

"For goodness sake Dad, he's not a hippy: He's an Afghan Greyhound!"

"His parents were pretty open-minded, romantically speaking."

'Well yes, technically, I'm a Sheep-Dog, but I've never been near a farm, let alone a sheep...'

"..my real interest is rare plants" "In his case, the ones that are still alive"

Dachshunds chasing Weinermobile.

"She's a Golden Retriever. I've Always Had A Thing For Blondes!"