Rant Aficionado T-Shirts

"I suggest you air your woes through the media."

"You're not going to go into one of your nit-picking, hotheaded, bowgun-hating rants, are you?"

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

Men's fragrances...

"I've seen a tulip before."

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"A little lamb please."

Bonsai Exhibit

I can't bear to be without you.

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

'I even love the way you snore!'

Can I get you another coffee?

'You are very deer to me.'

We'll cling together just like the Ivy.

Gardening.

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

(Pirate about rat): 'We became buddies when they threw me in the hole.'