Rambling Raconteur Pillows

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Non Thought For The Day.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"I'll need a three iron."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Max Beerbohm

Social butterfly

Oscar Wilde

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

Brenda always had Safe sex

'Down on the farm!'

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'Ok, ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes round the tree ..'

'...And before I knew it, I'd delegated ALL my authority!'

"In the bad old days, Nigel used to spend much of his time drinking and 'picking up birds'. . ."