Rambunctious Raconteur Pillows

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Non Thought For The Day.

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

William Tell Overture

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

Max Beerbohm

Oscar Wilde

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Brenda always had Safe sex

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

'Down on the farm!'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'Ok, ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes round the tree ..'

Liar's Club fish

"In the bad old days, Nigel used to spend much of his time drinking and 'picking up birds'. . ."

Man with Sex Reviews.