Railway Controller T-Shirts

"For a moment. I lost my thought of train."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

A trevor of trainspotters

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

HS2

Run from the hills!

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

HS2 time bomb...

S**t Creek Halt

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

Snail crossing

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

The 6.06 to Brighton overshoots the buffers

Desert Island Roundabout

Railway 'King' George Hudson

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

Executive Lifestyle

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

What Holds the Subway Together?

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

Pound sign on rail tracks.

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Railway Map of England (A Prophecy)

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

Trainspotting.