Railway Clerk Pillows

An officer purchasing a train ticket

"Useless information"

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Fragile stamper.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Latest Railway Marvel.

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

The next fast train has gone.

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

Coupler Counselling

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

Pound sign on rail tracks.

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

'Nice job, Harold, you finally found me a nice quiet nesting place.'

Grocery store has no data team to help with customer's shopping experience.

'We apologise for the late arrival of the 9.38 to...'

Hello National Rail Enquiries.. mystic meg speaking.."

Great rail disasters: 'Privatisation.'