Rail Planner T-Shirts

"That's not the rail network, it's the fair options."

"We only got six days of funding."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

Car Emissions

HS2

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."