Radio Show Fanatic Gifts

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, How can I get this woman to accept that I don't want to have a relationship with her? She shares many of your attributes, so you're the perfect person to ask. - Chris. Actual reader letter. Terrific question. How do you turn down someone like me? It's tough. Over the years, people have tried garlic, chants and curses, hired muscle. But the only think you can really do is give lavish gifts. Or cash. Bundles of cash. Gifts and cash? The generosity sickens us and drives us aw

Astral Projection

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Ray Davies

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Ozzy Osbourne

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Not-so-easy listening...

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!

No stopping. I'm binge-listening.

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

"It's a Plodcast!"

Studio 51