Radio Show Critic T-Shirts

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

American Idle.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Can't Touch This

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Can't Touch This

Christmas TV...

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Spike Milligan

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

No Talent Agency

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

Silly News.

A TV tank

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'