Radio Show Critic Pillows

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Can't Touch This

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Silly News.

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

No Talent Agency

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

A TV tank

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."