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Joe Franklin

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: The Talk. Specifically, how to have "the talk" with your younguns before they hear about it on the streets or from their president. The best thing to do is to use the tried and true Cohen method: Teach your child that within the pants of every member of the opposite sex lurks a monster that'll drain them of ambition, turn them into mindless automatons, and cause them to make fools of themselves. I'm talking, of course, about iPho

Pirate Radio

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Rock Climber

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Music Freak.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

Exams

Problem solving centre.

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Complaints (just kidding).

'I play it to kill time.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

Cluster Catastrophe

Dead cupid

Different types of band.

Learn-to-dance pants.

Model Village

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."

"This isn't going to work - I'm rock n'roll and you're waltz time!"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

'Y.C.M.A.? Looks like we got dyslexic disco dancers in the house.'