Radical Resolutioner Pillows

"My gut instinct told me to come"

Hate Platforms

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"Stacy, Tom thinks you've been acting distance since you became a flight attendant."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'