Resolution Seeker Pillows

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"This year, I resolve to stop drinking, stop smoking, lose weight and get physically fit."

New Years Resolution

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Any questions?"

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Think tank' and 'Rethink tank'.

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'I have nobody else to blame but myself so we need to brainstorm.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

The real reason the Christmas Truce didn't last.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

Good intentions last a month on average