Racket Wit Collector Pillows

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Early cyborg.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Ratminton

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters