Races Mugs

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

What McWit lacks in speed, he gains in nose.

10 K Tail-Chase

"Is the German-potato-salad marathon normally this messy?"

Water station.

'And after the parents Egg and Spoon will come the divorced couples sack race.'

"We can't lose. I got Dad's lucky tie out of his closet."

'Who's idea was it to run backwards to Christmas for charity?'

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"I need to tinkle."

Ancient Racing

Go! Means NOW!

A day at the races

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

A day at the transgenic races

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Danger Slow Sand.

Bob's Driving School.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Snail Racing

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'